Is America a melting pot or a mixing bowl? Is it a cauldron of democracy
or an oven of opportunity? Are our days dusted with glory or speckled with sprinkles? Of this, one thing is certain. In the light of early morn … amidst dew-soaked fields, bird fluted forests and purple mountain majesties … in towns small and cities mighty … we hear the stirrings of a people united. We feel the rhythm of their feet, moving as one with urgency and determination. Oh, yes. They will get their pastries. Today and every day. Because above all, Americans are a pastriotic people. Talk not of a nation’s backbone. Its beating heart. The eagle eye. Rather, let the belly swell with pride for it reveals the contours of a nation and its people. Intestinal fortitude. Guts. This is what sustains a diverse people. This is the grandeur of which we speak. We shall honor and uphold the virtuous denizens of the breakfast table, employee break room, afternoon snack attack and midnight ‘fridge foray. We hold these truths self-evident. That in the course of human events, heroes will emerge. Exemplars. Champions. A noble few. Meet now the pastriotics.